A型大提琴

Viggo Mortensen的幾首詩

情不知所起,一往而深。

V叔的每篇诗,我都会脑补开花 T T

mividaloca:

最近從亞馬遜收了V叔的兩本詩集(剁手

From Coincidence of Momory (2002)和Winter Songs(2010).裡面有不少觸動我的詩歌,當然觸動我的往往是情詩。所以想跟大家分享,特別渣翻了一下…沒有檢查、沒有問別人的意見,加之詩歌,只可意會,所以不得不說翻得太不理想…不能捕獲原作的十分之一。

(其中第一冊的英文大小寫遵循了原書的規則。)

無論如何,希望你們喜歡~

愛我的和愛V叔的,點個贊咯!

(如果心情好 還會再發一些的…不過別信我)




From Coincidence of Memory (2002) by Perceval Press

回憶的偶然


Communion

聖餐

(1999-2002)

1.

We've left shore somehow

Become the friends

Of early theory

Close enough to speak

Desire and pain of absence

Of mistakes we'd make

Given the chance.

我們如何離開了海岸

成為摯友

從最初的理論來看

親密到可以交談

慾望、離別的痛苦

以及我們所犯的錯誤

如有機會的話。

 Each smile returned

Makes harder avoiding

Dreams that see us

Lying in early evening

Curtain shadows, skin

Skin safe against skin.

Bloom of compassion

Respect for moments

Eyes lock turns

Forever into one more

Veil that falls away.

若每一個笑容都得到回應

將使避免

那想像我們的夢更為艱難

躺在暮色前

在簾幕的陰影中,皮膚

緊貼著皮膚。

盛放的憐愛

對這瞬間的尊敬

眼神交匯流轉

成為永恆

直到下一曾帷幔墜落。


2.

This after seeing you

Last night, first time

Smelling you with

Permission: shoulders to

Wonder openly at

Carefully kissed

As those arms

Waited impossibly on.

They’ve held me now

And your breath

Down my back

Sent away night air

That had me shaking

In the unlit Anglican

Doorway.

自從昨夜

第一次,見到你

嗅著你,憑藉

你的允許:肩膀

公開驚异於

這些手臂

如何被吻覆蓋

如何被不可思議地招待。

現在他們抱擁過我

而你的呼吸

在我的背脊

驅走夜晚的涼意

讓我從心中戰慄

在那沒有點亮的聖公會的

門畔

 

3.

Are we ruined for

Finding our faces fit

And want to know more

About morning? Is

Friendship cancelled

If we can’t call

Each other anymore

In amnesia, invite

Ourselves to last glances

Under suspicious clocks

Telling us when we’ve

Had enough?

我們是否註定毀滅

驚覺我們的面容何等相稱

並且奢望至今

陪伴到清晨或者更多?這

友情是否被取消

思量著倘若我們不再能夠

彼此呻唤

在輾轉難眠中,邀請

最終你將眼神交換

看著那滿是懷疑的時鐘

警示我們

所擁有的已是過重

 

4.

Your steady hands

Cradling my grateful

Skull: were you taking

In my face to

Save an image

You’ve rarely allowed

Yourself after leaving

That cold alcove?

Am I a photograph

You gaze at in

Moments of weakness?

 你平穩的手

擁抱我感激

的頭顱:你是否將

我的面容

收藏為一幀畫面

好讓你在離開

冰冷的壁龛以後

偶然允許自己查看?

我是否為你

在脆弱時分

偶然凝視的相片?

You ordered me

Off my knees

Into your arms.

Wasn’t to beg

That I knelt; only

To see you once

From below. 

你要求我

站起身

來投奔到你的懷抱安宿

而我屈膝

原不是為了哀訴,而是

願有一次從至低處

仰望你的契機

Tired to say something

That filled my mouth

And longed to rest

In your ear.

Don’t dare write

It down for fear it’ll

Become words, just

Words.

我在試圖吐出詞彙

并讓語言填滿我的雙唇

且期盼他們在你的耳畔

休憩

我不敢提筆

擔心假若書寫

這一切就會變成辭藻,只是

辭藻而已。


Apart

分離

(1999-2000)

You found my keys

On an angels’ hip

Moved half the fallen trees

From the frozen road.

你尋獲了我的鑰匙

在甜酒杯盞上细数

將坠跌的樹

半是拖離冰封的小路

 

This trip is

All thought

It would be

And we’re not

Even ½ way yet.

這旅途

是我所盼望

的全部

而我們甚至

還未抵达半途

 

If I can’t touch you

With snow-hung firs

Our only witnesses

Can’t have your eyes

When everyone’s asleep

Then the fire’s almost out.

如果我不能与你碰觸

以覆满白雪的雲杉

我們唯一的目擊人

如果不能独占你的眉目

當所有人都靜謐入眠

當篝火逐漸熄滅


You ask the un-named

Attraction to leave town

But keep checking

If I’m still around.

你問我那不具名的

遠足的地點

但是不斷檢視

我是否還將在原處

 

Should we sidestep

Putting fingers to

Words tracing lips that

Would inform us?

我們是否該走到一邊

將手指

放到那傳達彼此語言

的唇邊?

 

Once said I’d missed

You every instant

Before we’d met.

Now believe we knew

How sad we’d be

Apart.

我曾說我想念你

每分每秒

在我們會面之前

那麼相信我們深知

當離別到來

我們將是何等煩擾。


From Winter Songs (2010) by Perceval Press

冬季的歌


Freedom

自由

It’s not

So you’ll think

Or decide anything

It’s not

So you’ll miss me

Or desire me more

That I ask

If I should be quiet

不是因為

這樣你會思考

或者做任何決定

不是因為

這樣你會思念我

而更需要我

我才提出

我是否該保持沉默的問題

 

It’s not

To scare you

Or out of rancour

It’s not

Because I changed

Since last night

That I sing you

What I fear

不是因為

我想讓你驚懼

或是出於積怨

不是因為

我變了

才使我在昨夜

唱給你一切

我所畏懼的

 

It’s not

That I don’t hear you

Or believe in us

It’s not

Because I tire

Or surrender

That I show you

A door

不是因為

我聽不見你的聲音

或是不相信我們

不是因為

我疲累

或者投降

我才給了你

一個出口

 

It’s not

So you’ll suffer

Or repent

It’s not

So you’ll dream me

Or to ennoble myself

That I dare

Offer a good-bye

不是因為

你會受到折磨

或者感到懊悔

不是因為你會夢見我

不是為了讓我感到自己的高尚

我才膽敢

同你道別

 

It’s not

You’ll accept and agree

It’s not to lose you

Or let you go

That I give you

What I love

不是因為

你會接受並且同意

不是因為想要失去你

或者放你走

我才給了你

我所愛的一切

 

That’s Why

這是為什麼

There are days

Hours

Moments in which I surrender

Am exhausted by knowing how little I know

That we’ve chosen to punish ourselves

Days

Hours

Moments that wrench

And distract

Perhaps you also go from weeping

To laughing at yourself

At roadblocks

Stains on your skin

And the long way down

有很多日子

很多小時

很多瞬間我忍不住想要投降

並且被我所知甚少的一切所耗盡

因此我們選擇自我折磨

很多日子

很多小時

很多瞬間悲痛

並且混亂

也許你也曾從落淚

到為自己感到好笑

在路障處

看著自己皮膚上的痕跡

和那無盡的路

 

Sometimes I unfurl the farewell flag

Look at it

Clean it

Kiss it

Touch my forehead to it

And hang it a while from the balcony

But there are other days

Hours

Moments that float

And allow me to calmly understand

That you exist

我有時忍不住展開那永別的旗幟

望著它

清洗它

親吻它

將我的額頭放在它身上

並且將它懸掛在陽臺上

但是也有很多其他日子

小時

瞬間

輕盈漂浮,讓我明白

你確實存在

Breathe

Sleep

Smile

Dream as I do

Dance

Walk

And that I’m fortunate

To know you a little in this life

Because of those days

So many

Those hours

Precious

Those moments infinite

I keep retiring that flag

Returning it to its hiding place

Carefully folded

That’s why

When parting curtains

To see the horizon

I imagine you living in

And open the window

In case a breeze brings me your scent

I’ve not yet jumped

呼吸

睡眠

微笑

像我一樣做夢

舞蹈

行走

而我何其幸運

在此生竟能對你稍有了解

而正是因為那些日子

那麼多

那些小時

如此珍貴

那些永恆的瞬間

我不斷地收起那旗幟

將它放回原處

小心折叠

這就是為什麼

當帷幕展開

我想像我能看見

你所居住的天際線

而打開窗戶

以防微風帶來一絲你的氣息時

我依然沒有墜落


What’s Said

所說的

I always tell you whatever I’m thinking without considering thedanger. I capsize, fall towards your mouth, live on your permission. Your gazemoors me, comforts me. Thousands of kilometers away I feel you are open,smiling when I describe the things I want to do to you. I see your stretchedneck, injured finger, cracked lips. Want you to see me as I am, confess eachdetail of this hunger, rejoice in our blood, get closer with each drop I spill,that you spill. I say everything, and you listen. I know I may regret it, thatsome kind of harm awaits us, that there is danger. We’re doing fine now, but inessence… yes, there is danger.

我總是會不顧危險、不假思索地告訴你我所想的一切。我傾倒,墜落在你的唇邊,活在你的允許之中。你的眼神讓我停靠,安撫我。在千萬公里以外,我能感受到你的心敞開著,微笑著聽我說我想對你做的一切。我看到你伸展的脖頸、受傷的手指和乾裂的唇。我希望你能看到我真實的樣貌,向你懺悔我對你渴望的細節,我們血液中的欣喜,每一滴我的鮮血都讓我們接近,每一滴你的。我無所不談,而你側耳傾聽。我知道我也許將後悔,也許某種不知名的傷害正等候著我們,那有危險。我們現在都好,但是從本質上…是的,那有危險。

 

You cleaned the remains of our uprooting on that strange bed ofother dreams quickly and well with a wet cloth, but the water left anotherstain, heart-shaped. Perfect. Remember?

Look, I said.

Yes…

See?

Yes.

What you made!

Yes, yes, my love. I see it.

I’m broken and you begin to realize how little I serve you thisway. But I’m yours. I returned last night to see where we’d lain, and the heartyou unwittingly drew on the light blue coverlet. It had dried, leaving only thepale shadow of your hand.

你用一塊小小的濕布快速而完整地收拾乾淨了我們那張因為各種夢而混亂的床褥,但是水珠留下了一個濕痕,心形的。

簡直完美。你記得嘛?

看,我說。

是的…

你看見了嗎?

你所畫下的!

是的,是的,我的愛。我看見了。

我終於破碎,而你意識到我所能為你做的事情是如此微不足道。但是我是你的。昨夜我回到我們一起躺過的地方,而你不小心在淺藍色床罩下畫下的心。它干了,只有你手掌留下的淺色陰影。

 

What do I do with this grief, and what do you do with yours? Weare imprisoned and united by the business of our separation. We cannot helpeach other. I’m dragged by exile, injured by the sky. My bones ache fromignoring so much—in silence, in taxis, planes, in the street, alone and byphone when others sometimes call and hang up without daring to mention whatthey’ve already understood. My eyes are grey scars, feeble shadows that have noidea how to illuminate what ails me and where I carelessly put my head.

我該如何面對這樣的痛苦,你該如何面對你的痛苦?我們被我們的分離所囚禁和結合。我們無法互相幫助。我流放自己,被天空傷害。我的骨骼因為我的無視而疼痛─在寂靜中、在出租車上、飛機上、在街上,獨自一人時,或者是在聽到別人偶然打來並且掛掉的電話時,他們不敢提他們已經熟知的一切。我的眼睛是灰色的傷疤、虛弱的陰影,無法告訴我我所受的傷痛,無法教會我怎麼放置我的頭顱。

 

How do you manage not to call me now? Before, you could neverhelp yourself. Before, you did so constantly and at all hours. It saved me. Isuffered, but knew you were in an exact place. Seated, naked, alone, surroundedby…newpapers and books. You’d tell me how your day had gone, that today.Imagining it filled me, satisfied me for a while, helped me find the ground,sleep, wake up without you, ready fire and water, live. What will I do withoutyour hands? I’ll encounter other breezes, another summer under another sun,while you enter your night. When it’s my turn to see new stars, or the lack ofthem, little by little I’ll get used to it.

你怎麼還沒有給我電話呢?從前,你總是剋制不住自己。從前,你總是無時不刻地撥給我的電話。它們拯救了我。我曾經疲累,但是知道你也跟我一樣。坐著、袒露著身體,一個人,被…報紙和書籍所包圍。你會告訴我你今天過得如何,今天。我想像著這個電話,讓它充滿我的心,讓我得到片刻的滿足,讓我找到支撐點、讓我熟睡、並且在沒有你時獨自醒來、準備爐火和水、活下去。沒有你的雙手我該怎麼辦?我也許會遇見另一陣微風,在另一個豔陽下的另一場夏季,而你將步入夜色。當我看見新的繁星、或是空曠的夜幕,一點點的,我也許會習慣這一切。


Deserve

值得

…I missed seeing the moon

and lost an earring…

…我思念月色

並且遺失了一隻耳環…

 

I fell

Ask

That you leave

Happy

Will do all

To understand

Your absence

As a test

Proof

Of what’s won

What remains

What I am

Without you

我墜落

要求

你離去

為了理解

你的缺席

不惜一切

似乎想試驗

我所贏得的

所剩餘的

沒有你

我是誰

 

With this silence

Oblivion

Announces

Its return

Pure

Heavy

Total

I hush

Falter

Breathe

The emptiness

That demands

That takes

My surrender

在這寂靜中

混沌

宣告著

它的歸來

純潔

沉重

完整

我壓低聲線

衰竭

呼吸

那空虛

那要求

並且接受

我投降的空虛

 

You’ll fly

To another nest

To blood far away

From my mouth

And what I said

To you last night

You were alone

Submerged

In darkness

Answering me

Opening me

Giving youself

Letting yourself be

你將飛向

另一處巢穴

以遠遠離開

我的雙唇

和我所說的話語

你曾是孤身

在黑暗中

沉潛

回答我

將我敞開

給我你的一切

讓你自由

 

I reject rebirth

Refuse to go on

To forget you

Will bear punishments

My harness

Deserves

Unfazed

Broken

Burn day and night

Tears

Night extinguish

Your light

Nor forgive

Aimlessness

I succumb to

What did I do

To founder

In you?

我拒絕重生

拒絕繼續

以忘卻你

甘願受懲戒

因為我的拙劣

我值得

責無旁貸

只為碎裂

日夜忍受烈焰

而淚水

不能澆熄你的光芒

也不能原諒

我紆尊

至於的虛妄

我所作為何

以能讓你

破滅






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  1. 深鱼mividaloca 转载了此文字
  2. 猫榎_翊mividaloca 转载了此文字
    真的很美。